


Darling, Let's Hurt Tonight

by winkelriedism



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Breaking Up & Making Up, Eventual Happy Ending, Exes to Lovers, Light Angst, M/M, Smut, comedy (a bit???), i think so, two stubborn idiots basically
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-29
Updated: 2020-04-29
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:21:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 17,801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23915239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/winkelriedism/pseuds/winkelriedism
Summary: Chanyeol and Baekhyun broke up quite a long time ago. It seems that they both have already moved on for good. At least Baekhyun says so. But one day he receives an invitation for Chanyeol's wedding.Turns out that Baekhyun isn't as fine as he previously thought. Actually, he might still care a bit too much.
Relationships: Byun Baekhyun/Park Chanyeol, Park Chaeyoung | Rosé/Park Chanyeol
Comments: 3
Kudos: 88





	Darling, Let's Hurt Tonight

**Author's Note:**

> welcome to my first ao3 post *excited noises*!!!! i decided to finally put that work here, because exactly today it's a whole year since i came up with the whole thing. thanks to my lovely diana @drtychnbk (thank u again!!!!) that piece is way more organised and grammatically correct than the twitter version, so if you've already seen it there and want to reread, i recommend giving this one a try! i hope it'll feel even better <3 
> 
> as you may have already realised, the whole piece is heavily inspired by "Let's hurt tonight" by OneRepublic. i've also put a few links to songs that you can play while reading for nicer experience. i recommend it a lot!!
> 
> pls enjoy & feel free to let me know what u think, especially if you're new to this story!! 
> 
> original tweetfic: https://twitter.com/winkelriedism/status/1122725289900089344

"Hey, Baek, were you expecting any letter?"

Baekhyun frowns from above the box of his vanilla ice cream, as he glimpses at Solar, who has just entered the kitchen, holding a simple, white envelope between her fingers.

"Um, not really. It's probably a bill or whatever," he murmurs with no interest, focused on the lecture of the 'Lyrical Ballads' in front of him and said ice cream as his late breakfast.

"I don't think so," says Solar, quietly reviewing the mysterious correspondence while leaning against the kitchen counter. "I’ve never seen your name written so prettily on any bills. Unless it's a creditor, who wants to kick you out of the house and at least gave it some stick to send you a nice looking notice, as a favor."

Baekhyun seems not to listen, so when her words dawn on him, he only lifts his head and sends her a look of disapproval, filling his mouth with ice cream again.

"Shut up," he throws back casually, turning the page of the old book - his only matter of concern. "Just open it, Solie."

"Can I?" she makes sure, but her fingers are already working on opening the envelope with no further damages. Baekhyun hums in response.

"Baek, it's an invitation!" she exclaims excitedly, earning an eye roll from her brother.

Solar curiously studies the shiny, silver paper and only her sudden gasp catches Baekhyun's interest. He looks at her and bites the bottom of his lip as he notices her confused expression.

"So, is it a creditor?" he jokes lightly, but the deadpan look he gets in response makes him quite worried. “An invitation? For what?"

She exhales, handing him the piece of paper. "For Park Chanyeol's wedding."

Baekhyun drops his spoon in shock. "Are you kidding me?" he lifts his brows, almost seizing the cursed envelope from the girl's hand.

He quickly opens the doubled up paper and reads with his breath held. Some sweet bullshit about destiny, two fucked up doves and some real talk about the place and the date of the wedding. The wedding of Park Chanyeol. Baekhyun's ex fiancé.

"What the actual fuck," he hisses through gritted teeth. He clutches his fingers in the paper so hard it gets visible marks, but he couldn't care less. "Park fucking Chanyeol, this fucker."

"Just throw it away, Baek," Solar quickly approaches him, wanting to take the invitation away, but Baekhyun shakes his head. "Don't tell me you're going to accept it!"

Baekhyun bites his lip again, in a nervous manner. "What else should I do? This vicious fucker did this on purpose!" he leans in to lift the spoon from the kitchen floor and then stands up, furiously popping it in the sink. 

Solar watches him with a worried expression. "He thinks I don't have balls to appear on his fucked up wedding, but, oh, I'll attend this circus with a pleasure!"

Baekhyun lets out a heavy, almost shaky breath. He shouldn't be so upset, he shouldn't care about Chanyeol anymore. But what is he supposed to do, when this son of a bitch enters his life again, sending him that damned invitation just to spite him? Of course he knew Baekhyun would pick up the gauntlet. Of course he knew it would affect him as it does.

After almost a year of their breakup, Chanyeol still knows best how to make Baekhyun mad.

"He wants to play with me, right?" he says, opening one of the drawers to find there self-adhesive chits and then quickly notes down the phone number of the invitation. "Of course, he changed his number," he murmurs and gums the little chit on a fridge buoyantly.

"Are you sure, Baek?" Solar asks tentatively, playing with her long hair. "Are you sure it won't..."

"Yeah, I am," he cuts with a certainty in his voice, although his eyes are too glossy for his words to be persuading. "I cannot give him the satisfaction. I'm gonna call Jongdae, I need a new, super-tight-super-appealing suit for this charade," he smirks lightly, licking his lips. "I'm gonna show this fucker what he's lost."

×××

"Hey, babe," Jongdae greets Baekhyun with a wide, immaculate smile and a warm hug as he steps inside the exclusive shop with elegant clothing for men, where his friend works as an advisor. 

It's been a while since they met up last – because, well, adulthood is quite time-consuming, it appears. Both have been into work stuff and other things, so it's not a big deal for anyone.

Well, the only advantage of this goddamned wedding is an occasion to ask Jongdae for a little favor and some professional help.

The blonde man shows Baekhyun into the smaller room for clients. He takes off his leather jacket and lets Jongdae take his measurements, to find some suitable options then.

"So whose wedding is it?" he asks unintelligibly, having the stab of measuring tape between his teeth as he moves Baekhyun's hips to turn him around.

"Chanyeol's," he answers negligently. He can hear Jongdae almost choking on his own saliva behind him. The blonde forces him to turn around once again, this time to look at his face, probably to find any signs of amusement.

"You are joking, right?" Jongdae searches for a confirmation. His eyes narrow when it doesn't come. "He really invited you to his wedding? What a cheek!"

Baekhyun smiles bitterly, biting his lip. 

"Yeah," he nods shortly, raising his arms to make it easier for Jongdae to wrap the measuring tape around his chest.

"Okay, but..." Jongdae stops his own sentence to murmur some numbers to himself while hanging the tape up around his neck. He stands upright and looks at Baekhyun seriously.

"Who's the bride then?"

Baekhyun prims. "Do you remember that girl, Rosé, I used to work with?" the blonde nods slightly. "I used to be jealous as hell when they met each other, you know, at one of the parties. After our breakup they started dating all of a sudden, and then they both moved from the city. Chanyeol to avoid me and Rosé to be with him, apparently. Looks like they got on well enough to fucking wed."

Jongdae lets out a dry laugh, full of disbelief. "What a mess," he hums, leading Baekhyun to get off the small dais. Softly grabbing Baekhyun's forearm, he looks him in the eye, worry swirling in his own irises. "Are you sure you're okay enough to go there?"

A thumb rubbing Baekhyun's arm in a comforting manner makes him lower his head. "Of course I'm not," he finds the nerve to confess- in the end this is Jongdae, the best friend he's ever had. "I have no idea what could happen, but Chanyeol-"

"Firstly, you should not feel obliged to agree," Jongdae's voice is gentle, but firm at the same time. "Refusing to go won't make you a coward, of course it won't. Next, unless you have confirmed it yet, then nothing is clinched, Baek. I wouldn't want your stubbornness to make you heartbroken again, you know it's going to be like reopening some old wounds."

Baekhyun nods shyly, biting his lips, keeping his peace for a while.

"I want to prove myself I'm off with all of this, that I moved on like he did, that I can put up with the sight of him taking a vow to somebody else," he sighs, taking a sit on the edge of the dais. Jongdae wants to point out that there's a big couch in the room, however he stays silent. 

"You know me, Dae, you know I have to make it, otherwise my pride will eat me whole," Baekhyun looks at him with lighter eyes and a small, amused smile. "That's why I need you to find me the sexiest suit you have here. I'm gonna win this, just for myself."

Jongdae collapses into giggles, as he flicks Baekhyun's forehead with his fingers teasingly.

"You little brat. Give me a minute to find something perfect for you."

×××

Coming home with a big bag containing the nicest blue silky suit is oddly satisfying, but the prospect of what he needs to do then, makes him grumpy. Of course, he has to confirm his appearance on the wedding. Has to dial the number, make a call, hear Chanyeol's voice.

Baekhyun sighs heavily while entering the empty house. Solar left a few hours ago to come back to her own flat, so he's now alone with nerves spreading in his blood and a mess to clean in the living room. His sister is truly a pest.

Instead of doing it on the first place, Baekhyun goes straight to his bedroom and collapses on the bed, after putting the new acquisition in a wardrobe. He stares blankly at the ceiling, trying to process the whole situation he has found himself in. He got an invitation to his ex lover's wedding and he's indeed about to attend it. Obviously that's a bad idea and he doesn't trust himself at all - he has no clue how will he react after seeing Chanyeol at the altar, in a suit, beaming and glowing, with his new love next to him. Baekhyun just doesn't know if he's gonna be okay with the sight, even after ten months.

Yeah, it's ten months since they saw each other for the last time. Ten months of Baekhyun trying to pick himself back up together, to move on after the worst breakup he has ever experienced; losing the love of his life, who disappeared from it as fast and unexpectedly as he had appeared.

Of course, their joint life wasn't perfect at all. It was such a mess, full of arguments, misunderstandings, strong emotions and bitter words. They met each other by chance, when Chanyeol wanted to book a trip at the travel agency Baekhyun has been working for. They quickly got along, then fell in love completely as a couple of bestest friends. And despite all the quarrels and mistakes, it used to work out, always, because they always had the solution- their love for each other, their sincere, passionate feelings, their trust and commitment. 

Baekhyun hadn't imagined that they would end up separated in any way, like ever, since Chanyeol used to be the only certain thing in his life, his safe harbour -and did he not even realise how far away he’d drifted in just one night, pushed by just one, strong wave of anger and jealousy, until it was all over, and Chanyeol was nowhere to be seen.  
When he came back after a few days at Solar's, ready to mend it all again, Chanyeol had already left, their flat strangely cold and silent.

Baekhyun feels searing tears under his eyelids as the memory of their very last night floods him mercilessly. He rapidly closes his eyes, preventing the bitter liquid from flowing out, and when he opens them again, his gaze falls upon the ring finger of his right hand. He carefully, almost fondly touches the finery on it - an engagement ring from Chanyeol.   
Baekhyun hasn't taken it off since their breakup, not even for a while, always excusing himself with a custom, with the need to have something on the ring finger to feel comfortable. It was only a part of the truth - he had been thinking about it as the last bit of Chanyeol he could save for himself, the last vivid, physical memory of having the man to himself.

The brown-haired sighs softly, lifting himself up on the elbows. He haltingly reaches for the phone on his commode; his slender fingers meeting a small piece of paper on the wooden surface. Baekhyun winces a little - it's the cursed number he needs to use. But he takes his time as he scrolls down the contact list, just to check if it's surely not Chanyeol's old number, even if he still knows it by heart. He easily finds the unused contact, still saved as 'darling'.

Yeah, Baekhyun hasn't changed anything, hasn't removed any photos or messages from his phone, he just doesn't go over it anymore.

Actually, he wonders why would Chanyeol care enough to invite him to his wedding. He always used to be the type to mind his own business instead of taking revenge, especially on the ones he had been close with once. Does he really hate him so badly? Did he hurt his ex-lover’s pride so much that he needs to show him now how good he’s been with someone else by his side?

The heavy thoughts gather in his mind gradually, making him less and less confident about the whole calling thing. And yet he still tries to foolishly play it cool, as he carefully presses the numbers written on the paper. 

It takes forever for him to find the courage to press the green receiver - the sound of the phone link stressing him out.

Somebody picks up. Baekhyun feels his heart stopping. 

"Hello?" a gentle, girlish voice comes to him.

His heart sinks.

"U-Uh, am I talking with Kim Rosé?" he asks in a small, strained tone. Perhaps deep down in his mind, he was hoping to hear Chanyeol again.

"Yes, who's that?"

"It's Byun Baekhyun," he almost whispers to the phone. "I wanted to confirm my appearance at your wedding."

"Oh, Baekhyun, hello!" Rosé seems to be warming up genuinely. "It's been a long time, really! I'm so happy you decided to come."

Baekhyun smiles faintly to himself. "Y-Yeah. Thanks for the invitation, I didn't expect it."

He hears a light chuckle on the other side. "It'll be a pleasure to see you again! I hope we'll be able to talk at the party, Baek, I've missed you lots!" her voice is sincerely cheerful and it somehow makes Baekhyun feel even worse. 

"I'm sorry, but I don't have much time right now, I'm so busy with all the preparations." She laughs softly and at the same time Baekhyun can hear some muffled voices in the background. "We're going to chat more at the wedding, aren't we? We have so much to talk about! Now I need to go, I'm sorry again."

"Of course, that's okay," he replies politely, biting his lips almost painfully.

"See you soon then! Thanks for calling, Baekhyun!"

He doesn't even have a chance to reply, when the phone call ends with a long, irritating sound. He sighs heavily, feeling an insane weight on his chest and he falls on the bed again, already defeated.

This is the worst idea ever.

×××

A day at work is unusually long and exhausting for Baekhyun, and it's not like he deals with many clients or files lots of useless documents. No, it's probably because he actually has nothing to do most of the day, so he has all the time in the world to overthink stuff. Like tomorrow's wedding, for example.

He's not alone in the office, but unfortunately he doesn't get on too well with his current coworkers, so he doesn't talk to them very much. He mostly listens to them chatting and laughing - not really interesting, but not like he has other choice.

It's a pity that exactly today his best colleague, Minseok, hasn't appeared at work, because Baekhyun clearly needs a distraction from all these stressing prospects about tomorrow and Park Chanyeol himself.

The man's busy changing the offers for holiday journeys on display, while his coworkers, Mina and Yuri, talk beside one of the desks. He doesn't pay them much attention, until one, particular phrase comes to him, making him tense.

"Did you know that Rosé's getting married tomorrow?"

"Rosé? Kim Rosé?" Mina furrows her brows lightly.

"Of course!" Yuri clicks her tongue, sipping coffee from a red mug. "Yah, she's so lucky! Her soon-to-be husband is amazingly handsome."

Baekhyun blows a raspberry under his nose.

"That Park Chanyeol, right?" Mina answers after a few seconds of thinking. "I saw them together once, in a mall. They look so good! Must be so happy..."

Yuri laughs dreamingly. "You know, I heard that their ceremony is about to be very intimate. They reportedly invited few guests, to keep it close and private. Anyways, I'd still love to come and see her dress, my God!"

The man bites his lips with a frown, putting the last advertisement on a glass wall. Why the hell have they invited him to the cursed wedding, if it's supposed to be so private? Again, Baekhyun has no idea - Chanyeol is probably just so fucking determined to tear apart all his hopes and memories. To tear him apart, in fact.

He sighs, not listening anymore. Grabbing his phone from the desk, he announces he's going for a quick break. The girls nod kindly, but Baekhyun can only give them a heavy smile.

He feels like he needs to get out, and so he does. The unusually sharp sunlight attacks him immediately, so he narrows his eyes, covering his phone screen to be able to see anything and dials Jongdae's number.

"How lucky are you!" his friend's cheerful voice greets him after a short while. "My client has left just a few minutes ago. Perfect timing, babe."

"Are you free this evening, Dae?" he asks, not beating around the bush. He hears Jongdae's soft laugh and cannot contain his own smile in response.

"Sounds serious. Is it a date?"

"Of course," Baekhyun smiles even wider, rolling his eyes. "With lots of wine."

"You wanna get drunk today? Are you out of mind?" Jongdae sounds defeated. "Tomorrow is the wedding!"

"And that's exactly my point."

"Have you started a bad-decisions festival on your own?" his chuckle is full of disapproval, again. "Alternatively, i'm-gonna-make-already-miserable-things-even-worse one? My God, Baek, do you really want to go to Chanyeol's wedding all hungover?"

"I'm just hoping I'll be out of it enough not to understand what's going on around me," the brown-haired worries his bottom lip, a teasing bite still audible in his voice. "Maybe my headache would drown out their ugly vows... And I could focus on it, and not my maddening heart instead."

"Or you're gonna throw up in the middle of the ceremony and everybody will already know what you are thinking about the whole thing." Baekhyun can't hold back his laugh. "But okay, you brat," he can almost feel Jongdae roll his eyes. "As you wish. I'll bring you the most disgusting wine I have in my cabinet."

"How much do you have to hate me, Dae..."

"None of that, sweetheart," Jongdae's voice is suddenly gentle and warm, despite all the teasing, giving him that older brother's tone. "I'm just keeping up with your stupid ideas. And making sure they will end up even worse than they were supposed to. I'm your friend, after all."

Baekhyun almost thanks him for being such an awful friend, but then another, more serious comment appears, making him prim.

"I swear your stubbornness is going to kill you very soon, Baekhyun. Mark my words."

×××

"Gooooood morning, guess who's gonna beat his ex's ass today!"

Solar enters her brother's flat with a jubilant exclamation, only to be greeted with some weak wails of two dead bodies lying on a couch, surrounded by a few bottles of wine.

"What the fuck, do I fucking go into your house screaming bloody murder, too?" Baekhyun almost growls, raising his head of Jongdae's lap. The pain in his temples is absolutely overwhelming.

"I knew you were an idiot, Baekhyun, but I hadn't expected you to go off your chump," Solar heads to the kitchen at once, probably searching for some painkillers. "You know what time is it? It's ten o'clock, and you have only a few hours to pull yourself together."

Baekhyun moans like a chastened kid, gently slapping still snoring Jongdae to wake him up. He lifts himself up to a sitting position, rubbing his eyes to get rid of sleepiness and that strange fog around him.

Jongdae shakes his head a bit, whining quietly behind Baekhyun's back, still sleepy. "You are truly a pest, Byun Baekhyun," he mumbles under his breath. "It was a sin, forcing me to drink that wine. It was indeed awful, by the way."

"That's why you drank it in the first place," Baekhyun runs his fingers through his messy hair, brushing them from his eyes. "Friendly reminder of whose shit it was."

He turns his head around to look at Jongdae, and the sight of their ugly, hungover faces makes them both collapse into giggles.

"I thought you were smarter, Jongdae," Solar appears with two cups of water and a medicine bottle. She puts it on a glass table with a loud sound, which triggers some complaints from the men.

They down the water almost immediately, earning a disapproval look from the girl.

"Of course I am smarter," Jongdae flinches at the comment. "That's why I came. I have the day off today and he's the one who's going to suffer at the wedding. I'll be just watching."

Baekhyun lets out a theatrical sob. These traitors.

"I needed a fucking distraction to prevent myself from a sudden suicide," he explains with a grimace, hoping Solar will understand his life’s struggle.

"I brought some cosmetics to make you prettier, but in this case –" she looks at her brother with a judgemental sight instead. False hopes. "I'll just make you less ugly, Baek," she lazily reaches for her bag and Jongdae can't control his loud laughter, even if it hurts.

"You two literally abuse me, oh my God," Baekhyun moans quietly and then swallows two pills to stop his headache even for a bit. He sighs, trying to get up, but his head spins all of the sudden; only Jongdae's arms prevent him from falling and braining himself on the table's arris.

"Well, fuck," he murmurs, already standing still. "I may have not expected it," scratching at his head, Baekhyun looks at his sister pleadingly. "Solie, do you know any tips on how to sober up, like, at once?"

"Drink water," Jongdae clicks his tongue.

"How much?..."

"No idea. We'll see how much will you need to pee all the alcohol from your system," Solar shrugs casually, peeking at Jongdae with hidden amusement.

"Is there any limit of drinking water? A lethal dose? I mean, I don't wanna die from overdosing on fucking water," Baekhyun bites his lips with a worried expression. "Not that I wouldn't like to die before the wedding, but overdosing on water sounds stupid as fuck."

"At least, you'll be a star in the next season of '1000 ways to die'," Solar smiles at him sweetly. "Think positively, Baek!"

×××

Drinking about three litres of water in an hour did help, although Baekhyun hadn't imagined him doing things like this on that cursed Saturday. He needs to admit that despite being annoyingly mean and making fun of his miserable state all the time, Solar and Jongdae appeared to be very helpful with preparing for the wedding. 

After a few hours of peeing and pumping himself up for the show, Baekhyun finally stands upright in front of the mirror, looking perfect. His honey-brown hair styled nicely by Dae, with bangs covering half of his forehead. The blue, impeccably ironed suit clings to his body perfectly, infallibly exposing all his curves in all the right places. Solar of course has done her job extremely well too, putting a light, quite sexy make up on Baekhyun's face - especially around the eyes, making his sight darker and more appealing.

"Okay, if Chanyeol won't regret his life decisions the moment he sees you, something's definitely wrong with him," Jongdae seems to be proud of yourself, watching in the mirror as Baekhyun fixes his tie with unsure fingers. Solar nods, lying on the bed and playing some shit games on her phone.

"What about me not going there?" Baekhyun asks with a small voice, biting his lip. He feels like all his confidence and courage disappeared with the alcohol he had peed before. "I guess they won't notice..."

"Shut the fuck up, Baekhyun," Jongdae cuts him almost immediately, making him shiver. "Don't be a coward now, when everything is done. You had your chance to back out," he smoothly turns Baekhyun around to meet his gaze. "My work cannot go to waste, Chanyeol must see you in that suit, you brat."

His voice is playful, but his eyes melt swiftly as he notices Baekhyun's uncertain expression. Jongdae squeezes his friend's forearm with a gentle smile, earning similar grimace in response. His gaze noiselessly says ‘it will be alright’ and Baekhyun is really, really thankful for the silent support.

"It's almost three PM, so I suggest you make a start on going out," Solar says, smiling lightly, as she lifts herself up on bed. Baekhyun glances at the watch on his wrist - it's indeed the time to go. He sighs.

The whole trio gets out of the Baekhyun's bedroom - Jongdae to come back home and Solar to the kitchen, as she said, to clean up there a bit. Baekhyun hugs her quickly, gratefully, promising to repay for her clemency in the near future.

Leaning in to tie his shoelaces, Baekhyun notices something.

"Just a minute more!" he exclaims, heading back to the bedroom.

In place, he looks at the mirror again, priming nervously. He sighs as his finger pads slowly remove the engagement ring from the ring finger. After all, it's not appropriate to appear at Chanyeol's wedding with the proof of his love on his own hand.

Baekhyun sighs one last time, carefully laying the ring on the nightstand. He puts on a brave face then, trying to ignore the stingy feeling in his chest and eyes.

×××

Baekhyun, despite planning to suppress his headache with another wave of alcohol later at a party, decides to go with his own car. Solar hasn't been convinced about his driving skills after a drunken night, but he just shrugged, assuring her that even his sudden death on the way wouldn't be this bad, after all. 

And that's how Baekhyun ends up in his car, after parking it on a large parking lot in front of an even larger hotel for terribly rich people (like Park's family for example), trying to compose himself before the whole storm. His hands are trembling and sweaty when he places them on the steering wheel, breathing slowly, not to hyperventilate so quickly.  
The man has no idea how much time he spent like that, but when he eventually leaves the car, lots of people surround him on the parking lot already. He hasn't realised it before, but after the third greeting from one of Park's family members and shocked comment about his appearance, he reaches the conclusion that it really isn't the right place and right time for him. However, there's no turning back now.

A bellman at the hotel's door greets him politely and willingly shows the way to the wedding venue- Baekhyun almost winces after hearing the fourth floor. Luckily, there's a big elevator in the corridor, probably able to contain fifty people at once, and another possibility of sudden death appears in his head. Baekhyun isn't claustrophobic, but the elevator surprisingly seems so stuffy he needs to loosen his tie a bit.

Everything's already decorated on the cursed fourth floor - white flowers surround him everywhere and despite him loving the scent of lilies, it's so intense he feels like suffocating from the lack of fresh air. 

An enormous, shining chandelier hangs from the ceiling, making an impression of something terribly expensive - it lightens whole hall with a bright, but soft light; creamy decorations on the walls perfectly reflect on its little crystals. A long, red carpet leads to a brass door - and Baekhyun's horror is going to take place exactly behind them.  
But he needs to be honest - everything looks stunning and magical, elegant and subtle, and he would be absolutely enchanted with the design if the groom hadn’t been Park Chanyeol.

Or if this was his own wedding, at least.

Baekhyun shakes his head and unknits his tuxedo, actually trying to discreetly dry up his sweaty hands, as he walks slowly down the red carpet. The door is slightly open and he can hear a hum of small talk and laughter of people inside, when he comes closer to finally crack it open a bit wider.

The room where the vows will be sworn is even prettier than the corridor. All in white flowers and white, draped material, pouring down from the walls. Chairs are also decorated with white bows - actually lots of people are already sitting there, waiting for the ceremony. Brilliant beams of afternoon sun, flooding the room from wide windows in the front, bright up their faces and excited smiles. Baekhyun needs to squint his eyes, not to get blinded by the light.

But the most lavish thing, making all the guests whispering with amazement, is the big sculpture of eros and psyche, standing proudly in the center of an arranged altar. Baekhyun has seen it lots of times before, but this time the sight makes his eyes uncontrollably teary.

He quickly chooses the chair in the second row from the door - not like he's planning to run away at the very beginning, but it's just safe. Sitting rigidly, he breathes out the air he hadn't even known he was holding. Deep in his thoughts, eyes fixed on the mesmerising sculpture, he doesn't notice a person approaching him, so he almost jumps out of fear, feeling a sudden touch on his shoulder.

"Baekhyunnie?"

A benign voice makes him turn his head, only to see the person he hasn't even been thinking about, although her appearance here was pretty obvious.

"O-Oh, mrs Park."  
A small, but honest smile appears on Baekhyun's face - mrs Park used to be his favorite person in the world, with her sweet talks, genuine laughter, luscious perfume and mouth-watering cakes. He has spent lots of time sloppily breaking eggs for her pastries or singing ABBA's hits in her kitchen, while washing the dishes after every family dinner. Park's mansion, despite being enormous and wealthy, always felt like home to Baekhyun.

Her sight in front of him takes him back immediately, so the grip on his shoulder subtly tightens.

"I honestly hadn't expected you to be here," the woman says with quiet, gentle voice, rubbing the material of his tuxedo with a thumb.

Floored at first, Baekhyun stands up and bows to her respectfully, making her smile wider.

"W-Well, I hadn't expected myself to be here either," he admits, biting his lip with an awkward grimace.

"Let's get out of here to talk, hm?" mrs Park suggests, "I haven't seen you for so long, Baekhyunnie."

He nods lightly and lets her trail him to the door again. Even her touch is still familiar, still so soft and calming, he notices. 

Out in the hallway, she quickly heads to the last door on the right - the room inside looks like a small vestibule, with lots of bags and flowers in vases on the floor. On the small sofa next to the wall, Baekhyun sees a few dust covers, probably for a wedding dress and groom's suit - seems like the newlyweds are already prepared.

Mrs Park invites him to sit next to her on a couch.

"So how are you now, Baekhyunnie? I bet lots of things have changed since our last talk."

Baekhyun shrugs lightly. "Actually not. I'm probably all the same, and so is my life," he says, fiddling with his fingers. "You know, I still work at this travel agency, my boss still tries to hang out with me inefficaciously, I still haven't bought the dog I always wanted to."

Mrs Park laughs softly, her eyes forming little chinks, surrounded by a net of wee lines. However, it doesn't derogate her beauty and young energy beaming from her.

"Well, okay, one change is significant," Baekhyun adds after a while. "I started baking a little more. But there's absolutely no fun without you."

The woman's eyes are bright, when she takes Baekhyun's hand into hers, smiling.

"Do you have someone at the moment?" she asks gently, trying to suppress the worry in her voice. It's still audible.

His smile becomes bitter. "No," he says quietly, looking at their tangled hands. "Still not enough time, I guess." he shyly lifts up his gaze at mrs Park's understanding expression. "That's why I'm surprised... But also happy, you know, that Chanyeol moved on so fast. I want to congratulate him."

His voice is too weak now. His words, however, sound honest - if Chanyeol’s truly happy, then he has no other choice than to be happy about it as well.

"You can still leave, Baekhyun," she says softly, but firmly, looking him in the eyes with seriousness. "Don't force yourself. He moved on and that's good, but the fact that you didn't is okay, too. You have all the time in the world to heal yourself."

Baekhyun nods pensively, biting his lips.

"And if you feel the need to," she continues with more playful manner, "you can always call me for a cup of tea. Maybe I'll even treat you with a piece of my cake again."

Baekhyun mumbles a quiet 'thank you' before being clasped by mrs Park. A lot of thoughts are rushing through his mind - and one of them is a surety that he doesn't deserve all the kindness he receives.

Having straightened up, the woman peeks at the fine, gold watch she has on her slender wrist and knits her brows.

"Time passes so quickly," she sighs. "Let me check up on my son, you know he's capable of being late," she says with a light amusement, getting up from her seat. "Please, wait for me here, or if you decide it, then just leave. I bet Rosé would understand."

Baekhyun just hums, still sitting on the sofa, when mrs Park waves at him and disappears behind the door. He sinks between cushions at once, again regretting all his life decisions. That's absolutely true – he can leave, he can stop being a stubborn moron and prevent himself from falling apart. But at the same time, he wants to prove himself, to prove to Park Chanyeol and everybody else that he's strong enough to deal with the marriage of the love of his life. Maybe it's the right solution, maybe the sight will allow him understand it's the end and move on like he should...

But what if he's really too weak to handle the whole thing? He curses to himself, fixing his gaze on the inwrought ceiling. Maybe they all have a point, maybe he should have let go and given Chanyeol the satisfaction, harmful only for his stupid pride and not his whole system.

Drowning in doubts all of a sudden, Baekhyun feels the need to run away, as fast as he can, before anybody more could see him. It feels like the seriousness of his footing and possible consequences hit him at the very moment. It's okay, mrs Park says, it's okay for him to leave, to put his heart above his pride. He lifts himself up from the couch swiftly and rushes to the door without thinking more, only the prospect of him getting the hell out of here in his blank mind.

Baekhyun reaches for the handle with trembling fingers, but the next second, the door is opened sharply, almost ramming him. But what rams him even harder is the sound of a familiar voice in his ears.

"Mom, I was looking for y-"

Baekhyun's eyes widen in horror, seeing the man in front of him. He suddenly recalls the suffocating smell of the flowers around and almost chokes on air, trying hard not to faint from sudden shock.

Chanyeol looks as slack-jawed, still holding a door handle in his strong hand, eyes fixed on a person he surely wasn't expecting to see. He hasn't changed at all, Baekhyun notices - only his brown, curly hair is maybe a bit longer, softly covering his forehead with clouds of locks. His eyes, however, are still mesmerizingly deep, his plump lips in a light shade of pink, now pursed tightly, a sharp, perfectly shaven jaw set in a nervous manner. Even the little mole on the tip of his nose, which Baekhyun used to kiss a lot of times, is still in its place, visible on tanned skin.

Chanyeol looks exactly like the man who left him ten months ago. Like his man.

"Baekhyun," the voice makes him shiver uncontrollably. "It's been a while."

The smaller needs to clear his throat for his own voice to be heard. "Hi, Chanyeol," he murmurs, the man's name barely audible, when he forces himself not to look away like a coward. "Y-Yes, indeed."

Chanyeol slowly loses his hold on a handle and then gently closes the door behind them, stepping more into the room. Baekhyun backspaces automatically - even though every cell in his body is craving for Chanyeol's touch, again.

"I hadn't expected you to-"

"You hadn't?" Baekhyun cuts him off, furrowing his brows at the sudden wave of confidence. "Of course you did. You know me too well, Chanyeol."

The man smiles coolly in response. "You're still a perverse kid, aren't you?"

"Feeling better after checking it out?" Baekhyun can't stop his tongue, as much as he can't stop his heart from beating so loud he's sure Chanyeol hears it.

The taller for a second looks like being taken aback - he even loosens his tie a bit, licking his lips. He's as tensed as Baekhyun and it's the only thing that lets the latter keep his composure whatsoever.

"What if?" Chanyeol snaps back, biting his lip for a moment. "It's good to see you again, actually."

Baekhyun suddenly feels like crying. He forces a small smile, trying to kill the urgency to hug Chanyeol and never let him go again. "Y-Yeah, actually... I wanted to congratulate you," he reaches out his visibly trembling hand for Chanyeol. "Since I'm not sure if I'll stay at the party... I want you to know that I wish you all the best, for you and Rosé. I-I hope you'll be happy together."

Happier than we used to be, he wants to add, but in the same moment Chanyeol softly takes his hand into his larger one, and the touch makes him melt inside, suddenly reminding him of every touch they have shared. It always felt so warm, so safe, just like home - and now it feels just painful. Heartbreaking.

He still misses Chanyeol like crazy. He still needs him so desperately. But it's already too late.

"Thank you, Baekhyun," Chanyeol almost whispers, rubbing the top of Baekhyun's hand with his thumb softly, in a comforting manner, but the smaller has no clue if Chanyeol tries to calm him, or perhaps himself.

"Oh, here you are!" Mrs Park's voice breaks the silence suddenly. She stops in opened door, observing them for a second - she doesn't comment on their meeting and Baekhyun is awfully thankful for it.

Chanyeol looks at the woman and Baekhyun's gaze falls to the ground - their hands are still connected and the wish for them to stay like this is in the back of his mind.

"You stayed, Baekhyunnie," mrs Park notes softly, a subtle smile on her face. "It's time, Chanyeol. We need to begin."

The words are silent and gentle, yet Baekhyun feels his head spinning from the pain spreading in his chest. Even harder, when Chanyeol eventually lets go of his hand, the look in his eyes is indecipherable.

He mouths a soft 'thank you' again, before heading to the door. Baekhyun wants to beg him to stay - but instead, he just lets mrs Park lead him to the ceremony room. Defeated.

×××

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mt3YERsfUro

The ceremony starts with soft sounds of one of Beethoven's sonatas, played by a petite girl on the piano hidden in the corner of the room. The melody is slow and soothing, notes floating lightly in the air; motes of the dust seem to dance gracefully in the subtle rhythm between lazy, warm sun rays. 

Everybody is standing already, anticipating - the melody, however, makes them all look pensive, drowsy, drowning in their private thoughts and sweet nostalgia. Even Chanyeol, the groom himself, seems moony, distrait - his body is visibly tensed, while he's standing there on the altar with clenched fists and dark gaze fixed on a mythological sculpture in front of him. As if he wanted to capture the wondrous sight of ancient lovers tangled in erotic embrace in his mind, save it for later.

The peaceful silence, riled only by Beethoven's piece of work and the shy, shaky breaths of the guests, makes Baekhyun's eyes water. Yet he doesn't cry - clenching his trembling fingers, he just looks at Chanyeol with forced collectedness. 

His mind is filled with thoughts and memories - with all the things he had done to end up here, just like that. At this very moment, he regrets everything; his words, his jealousy, his doubts. He regrets having been so egoistic, not having trusted Chanyeol enough, when he was supposed to. He regrets his stubbornness and cowardice, when Chanyeol disappeared. False hopes about his comeback - even if he had known him well enough to know what would happen. Baekhyun all of a sudden regrets everything he has done to see Chanyeol at the altar with somebody else right now.

But his biggest fault - he had let him go, when he should've held him so, so tightly.

The main door opens, accompanied by the tender sonance. Rosé is standing there, flawless as never before. Her hair in tone of a warm honey flowing on her fragile shoulders, covered subtly with flimsy material of a long veil. 

A delicate, lacy dress fits her silhouette perfectly; a train is trailing behind her, when she's walking across the red carpet, gracefully and majestically. She clenches her trembling fingers on a little bunch of white lilies; her eyes sparkling, a bright smile on her pretty face lightening up the whole room. She's glowing with happiness, with excitement, with love.

Nobody can take their eyes off the bride - even Baekhyun finds her appearance stunning, although his eyes swiftly fall on the groom again. Chanyeol looks at Rosé with an unreadable expression, a small, nervous smile visible on his lips, when she slowly approaches the altar.

Rosé comes on the dais with a bit of help of Chanyeol, who offers her his hand - when they are finally standing face to face, the man leans in to leave a gentle kiss on the top of her hand. Her smile becomes even brighter - her eyes evidently shine with unshed tears, when the officiant between them starts talking.

"We all here to celebrate the day of Park Chanyeol and Kim Rosé, who begin their new life together, as husband and wife," the woman with a warm smile, looks at both of the newlyweds from above his small book. "They will soon be making their marriage vows, promising their love and devotion to each other."

"Marriage isn't just about love. Marriage is about companionship, friendship, trust and mutual respect. So, Chanyeol and Rosé, please think carefully while making your vows today - these promises tend to be for the rest of your lives."

Beethoven is still silently playing in the background - the officiant's calming voice echoes as a razor blade in Baekhyun's ears, impales his burning throat with every word. It's really happening - Chanyeol is really getting married in a few moments.

"If any person here knows of any lawful impediment to this marriage, they should declare it now."

Everyone stays silent. Baekhyun wants to scream, but his throat doesn't work at all. He wants to beg for it all to turn out to be only a horrific nightmare.

There is a terribly impediment, he wants to say. My heart still belongs to you unlawfully, Chanyeol.

He hears the officiant's voice as if from behind a thick wall - she asks the newlyweds to take each other's right hands, to finally make the vows. Baekhyun's heart sinks so, so rapidly, when he observes Chanyeol facing Rosé, their shaking hands softly tangling. 

He can't erase the memory of the way their hands met before, in vestibule - and also all the times Chanyeol had held him like the most valuable thing in the world.

"Park Chanyeol, do you take Kim Rosé to be your legally wedded wife? Do you promise to love, honor, cherish and protect her, forsaking all others and holding only to her forevermore?"

The whole audience holds their breaths - only the subtle melody answering the question at first. Baekhyun isn't looking anymore, but he can imagine Chanyeol's nervous face, when he tries to calm himself and air the 'I do' with a firm voice - also Rosé's excited, hopeful sight on her lover, her pretty fingers clenching around Chanyeol's.

"I can't."

Beethoven's sonata is suddenly broken.

"W-What?"

Baekhyun abruptly raises his head, only to see Rosé's shocked expression, while she tightens her hold on Chanyeol's hand. Initially, it's still hopeful, her eyes still shine, she's waiting for Chanyeol to admit it's just a bad, ridiculous joke, probably caused by overwhelming stress.

But the confirmation doesn't come. The whole room is dead silent.

"C-Chanyeol, w-what are you doing?" her voice is trembling, panicked. She desperately wants to draw his attention again, grabbing his both hands, shaking them.

But Chanyeol's absent. He looks lost, running though the whole room with chaotic sight, as if he's trying to find a way to escape, like a deer caught up in the woods.

"Chanyeol, what's up with you?" mr Park's angry, disoriented voice comes up, as he steps closer to the altar.

The man doesn't look at him - instead, his gaze falls upon Baekhyun in the penultimate row. Baekhyun, who's as puzzled as everyone. 

He barely stands still on his wimpish legs, his dry mouth slightly agape. He seems like he's about to faint because of what's happening around, his pale, trembling hands clutching the chair in front of him for support. But he clearly feels Chanyeol's eyes on him, surely wouldn't miss this - and his own eyes now sparkle hopefully.

"I-I can't," Chanyeol spits out with a small, hoarse voice, lowering his head. He almost whispers, but in the silent room it sounds like a miserable shout. "I'm so sorry, I can't do this."

The girl in front of him already has some bitter tears on her flushed cheeks. "C-Chanyeol, please, that can't be..."

"Rosie," he suddenly raises his eyes at her, tightening his hold around her cold, trembling hands. He looks so, so lost. "You deserve something better. Someone better than me, I'm- I cannot marry you. I'm so sorry, so sorry."

He closes his eyes for a short moment - the last words come out quietly, apologetically.

"I can't do this, when my heart still aches for somebody else."

Chanyeol's voice is shaking, but he sounds like he's certain about it all, like he knows exactly what he's saying - and it makes Baekhyun's head spin strongly. The groom quickly lifts Rosé's hands to peck her soft fingers as another, unspoken apology, before he walks down the altar in a few, long steps. 

His eyes are fixed on a petite man, standing between all the scandalised people, his heart beating so fervently that he feels it in his throat. Baekhyun in his unconsciousness almost doesn't note the moment when a familiar hand falls on his shoulder - only a sudden, tightened grip brings him around.

"Let's go, Baekhyun," Chanyeol's gentle, but emphatic voice echoes in the room, when he appears to be standing so closely next to Baekhyun. He almost forces the absent-minded man to stand up and follow him to the main door. Not as he tries to refuse in any way, though.

The almighty sound of the closed door is the last thing they leave for the audience.

This time, there's no time and no place for choosing an elevator. They make their sloppy, too rushed way down the stairs. Chanyeol's hand smoothly moves on to his wrist, as he downright trails him by them. The man's steps are so rapid that Baekhyun barely keeps up with him, and only the firm fingers around his hand and Chanyeol's broad figure prevent him from falling and breaking his neck.

By the time they finally slow down on the ground floor, Baekhyun is barely breathing, exhausted and still thrown. He hardly notices the moment when they turn off the main corridor, to one of the side halls, where Chanyeol shrilly pushes him to the nearest wall and kisses him without more needless thoughts.

Initially, he thinks about pushing the man away, but his mind swiftly gets clouded by lust, by still burning affection, by yearning so strong, he just can't resist it anymore. All he can think about is the feeling of hot, greedy lips on his own - the feeling he has been craving for such a long time that it's almost unbelievable he was able to bear it.

Baekhyun immediately opens his mouth for Chanyeol to easily slip his tongue inside. The kiss is phrenetic, desperate, filled with all these emotions they both have been bottled up for more than ten months - it all breaks like a fragile glass right now, with every sloppy breath they share, every touch on their heated bodies. All that matters is the fact that they finally feel each other again, sense each other's proximity in that intense, passionate way.

When they end the liplock, both panting and trembling, Baekhyun's lips are wet and swollen. He easily notices the way Chanyeol holds him so tightly, their chests pressed to each other with every thirsty breath they take. The smaller's fingers tangled in Chanyeol's curls, almost forcing him to lean in, when their foreheads touch.

"Give me your keys, Baekhyun," the man speaks with a low voice, making the boy shiver, when he just obediently looks him in the eye. "Give me your fucking keys. We need to get the hell out of here."

×××

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D8C5M3_Uaqk

Baekhyun doesn't even blink when Chanyeol opens the passenger door for him and gently pushes him to get in - he just does it, despite the crackling tension blazing hot like fire in the atmosphere between them, akin to the looming sparks of the storm overhead. He doesn't look at Chanyeol circling the car to take a seat beside him - instead, he's blankly observing the hotel's entrance, expecting guests to start leaving very soon. In all probability, they are both on the darkest blacklist right now.

"Do you still live in our flat?" a low question breaks the silence, startling him a little.

A sting in his chest. Our flat.

"I do," he answers with a small voice, gently. That's actually the first thing he has said after the whole mess and he sounds just as insecure as he's feeling right now.

Chanyeol only hums in response, smoothly starting the engine. He looks like he remembers this space by heart, every move he does here is firm and certain, without any hesitation. Baekhyun feels almost intimidated - and he must shyly admit to himself that he's missed this feeling of Chanyeol's overwhelming dominance. Somehow, it seems safe.

They pull out of the parking lot to join the oncoming traffic of the main road and swiftly the silence between them becomes so heavy and unbearable that Chanyeol decides to turn on the radio. However, fate seems to be against them - Baekhyun almost chokes on his saliva, hearing the OneRepublic vocalist's voice filling the car.

The song that's playing is the exact one they were dancing to the night Chanyeol proposed to him.

Baekhyun's immediately flooded with memories so vivid it's burning in his blood painfully. That night, their hands intertwined, a cool moonlight skimming them from behind the trees, as the shining ocean waves were overflowing the sandy coast. Their laughter mixed with a soft sound of the song played from the inside of the opened car.

"No fucking way," Baekhyun murmurs to himself, emerged from thought suddenly and he nervously runs his fingers through already unkempt hair, trying to suppress this heavy feeling. He automatically reaches the radio to turn it off again, but a soft grip on his trembling hand stops him halfway, surprising him.

"Didn't you like this song?" Chanyeol asks casually, not taking his eyes off the road. He lets go of Baekhyun's hand only when he needs to swing into high gear. "You used to sing it every time you heard it."

Baekhyun feels confounded. "How are you acting like that in this fucked up situation?"

"Like what?"

"Like your fucking wedding wasn't ruined minutes ago!" the smaller's voice is trembling, but he tries hard to collect himself. "How can you be so damn chilled?"

Chanyeol inhales deeply, his brows furrowed. He still seems cool, but the way he clenches his hands on the steering wheel says it all. "What else am I supposed to do on a crowded road? Start a fight exactly at this very moment and crush on the nearest tree right after?" he asks, his voice calm, but heavily tensed.

"You know I fucking hate your silence!" Baekhyun raises his voice uncontrollably, his hands fisted on his knees. "I hate when you pretend that nothing's happened. Stop with this cool-motherfucker attitude just for once, Park!"

"I'm fucking driving and trying not to get you killed, Baekhyun!" he growls an answer quickly. Baekhyun can sense his nerves only getting worse, but he can't restrain himself any longer, emotions boiling inside him too hard to suppress them.

"How would you suddenly care about it so much?" he snaps mockingly, bitterness audible in his voice. "You've been killing me for ten months straight, since you'd decided to fucking leave and never come back without any word!"

"Can you shut up just for a few minutes, until we fucking get home?!" Chanyeol barks wrathfully, nervously brushing his hair away from his face.

"No, fuck you, Pa-"

He doesn't end the insult because of a sudden turn of the car, which startles him so much he almost hits the window with his head. Chanyeol aggressively slams the brakes on a small dead end, making Baekhyun collapse on the dashboard like a doll.

"Fucking hell, Baekhyun!" he roars, finally looking at the boy beside him. It doesn't help, however - the man's gaze is so dark and enraged, and it only seems to trigger him more, so he returns the red-hot look without hesitation.

"God, that's fucking insane," Chanyeol sinks in his seat after a while, running his hands down his face. "I was supposed to marry her today, nay, I should have been married already, if only you didn't just appear-"

"Excuse me, what the fuck?" Baekhyun breaks in furiously. "It was you who invited me, it wasn't my own conceit to show up on your goddamn wedding!"

"It was Rosé's idea to send you the damned invitation!" he raises his voice in response, visibly unhinged at this point. "All of a sudden, she was like, 'oh, why not invite Byun Baekhyun!' I fucking told her, no, it's definitely not a good idea since he's my ex and he surely wouldn't want to come anyway, but she said, 'oh, come on, you were such good friends, and I myself haven't seen him for so long, I miss him! Let's just invite him!' and I literally had no other choice."

Baekhyun stays silent this time, observing his own fingers crossed on his lap in a nervous manner. Trembling, unsure. He just listens.

"She said, 'why are you so negative about it? After all, you're finished with him!' and I thought, yeah, of course I'm over him," Chanyeol continues with a loud, expressive voice. He runs his fingers through his hair, frustrated. "But it turns out that hell no, I'm not. I'm not over you in the slightest! It took just one look at you to ruin everything I have been building up for the past few months."

"Why are you blaming me for everything?" Baekhyun sobs suddenly and only then they both realise that he’s started crying. "I thought you'd invited me just to spite me, to show me how pathetic I am with my messy, lonely life while you've already moved on." His shoulders tremble with every shaky word he stutters and every shallow breath he takes. He doesn't look at Chanyeol anymore, too ashamed of his weakness, even if it was always Chanyeol who used to comfort him. "I-I couldn’t look weak, like a total sucker who doesn't even have the courage to show up at your wedding, because my heart would break to pieces, seeing you with somebody else."

Baekhyun stops, crying too hard to even force a word out anymore. He hides his wet face in his hands as he lets himself cry his heart out, the first time since their last night together. He doesn't even care that Chanyeol's watching him anymore - he doesn't care about looking like a loser, like a miserable piece of shit. All these feelings and emotions he has been successfully suppressing all this time literally knock him out in that very moment, flooding him like a ground-shattering earthquake.

The silence in the car, disturbed only by Baekhyun's cries, is even more overwhelming. He cannot pretend anymore that he's not bothered by all these things around him - he can't pretend that he stopped loving Chanyeol, because he didn't. He still loves Chanyeol with his whole heart, so badly it can kill him any second.

"H-How could you leave me like this," the boy sobs ruefully after a while, having felt Chanyeol's warm hand on his back, on his nape and hair, comforting him softly, carefully. "I-I was so miserable without you."

Chanyeol hums quietly, caressing Baekhyun's messed hair with tenderness he's been missing so much. "I'm sorry, Baekhyunah. I'm so sorry," he whispers, his eyes focused on the small silhouette cringing on the seat beside him. "I'm so, so sorry for this whole mess, Baekkie."

Baekhyun snuffles quietly, his breath unsteady, eyes terribly swollen, with all his pretty makeup already on his reddish cheeks. That sight, however, doesn't stop Chanyeol, who softly cups Baekhyun's cheeks in his hands, wiping a few fresh tears from the corners of his eyes with his thumbs. The smaller is forced to look at him, eventually.

"Let's go home, okay?"

Chanyeol's voice feels like home itself.

×××

The rest of the ride is dead silent. Only a few bashful sniffs escape Baekhyun's lips from time to time, disrupting the quiet air between them. The tension between the two bodies is perfectly palpable from both sides, but this time it's filled with unspoken confessions and shameful apologies ready to leave their bitten mouths at any moment.

Chanyeol is focused on the road, or at least he tries to be, still unable to stop himself from stealing glances at Baekhyun, who slowly collects himself after crying. He observes involuntarily how the boy's lips part with every shaky breath he takes, how he nervously opens the glove compartment to find a pack of tissues with cold fingers. And finally, how he tries to wipe the blurred makeup from his swollen face, as if to remove the evidence of his weak moment. 

In the past, Chanyeol thinks, he wouldn't do that - he would wait till it dries fully on his face, spending the meantime in the man's make-up embrace, to laugh at himself later while looking at the bathroom mirror.

Chanyeol sighs.

The road isn't long, or at least it wasn't ten months ago. Right now, it feels like an eternity for Baekhyun to be stuck in his own car with his lover in the driver's seat. The whole memory of the terrible wedding seems to be far, far away in his foggy mind - at this point the only thing he desires is to stop thinking at all, to be able to acknowledge only Chanyeol's presence by his side. It still feels like a dream, though - a dream he could wake up from any minute, only to be welcomed by his painful reality and the sense of his unfixable, open heart.

Oh, how he longs so, so badly to never wake up.

Baekhyun emerges from his half-consciousness only at the sound of the car door being closed and then opened again, this time on his side. Chanyeol stands in front of him, eyes soft and expecting, his hand carefully offered to Baekhyun. After a few seconds, he accepts it.

It also feels like a dream to cross the threshold again with Chanyeol. The threshold of their flat, the one they both picked and furnished, already weaving plans about their future house. The whole situation seems too ideal, and no matter how good it feels to stay in this dreamlike state, he needs to face the reality.

But not now.

"Chanyeol," he gasps, watching as the man closes the door behind them. Suddenly, only the sight is not enough. "I need to know if you love her."

Chanyeol looks at him uneasily, eyes filled with unrest Baekhyun wants to wash away as soon as possible. "Baekhyun, I-"

"I beg you," the boy's voice cracks again, but this time he doesn't let his tears fall from his eyes. He desperately clenches his trembling fingers on Chanyeol's suit sleeve. He's determined to hear the answer. 

Chanyeol returns his sharp gaze.

"I thought so," he says slowly, as if he wants to make sure that Baekhyun believes in every word. "I wanted to. But you proved to me that..."

"You said..." the boy almost whispers. "Y-Your heart still..."

"Aches for you. Turns out it does, Baekhyunah. Stronger than I ever wanted to admit."

Baekhyun doesn't hesitate, crashing their lips in a strong kiss, and Chanyeol, too, doesn't hesitate to reply immediately. It's not a tender, tongued caress - it's rough, full of teeth and saliva, noses bumping and bodies brushing against each other. It's painful and desperate, just as all their time spent apart.

Baekhyun's fingers quickly find their place on the man's collar, rumpling it mercilessly in attempts to pull him even closer, as close as possible. He gasps for air in Chanyeol's mouth, noiseless moan lost in the overwhelming hotness, when his rough hands swiftly pin Baekhyun's body to the wall, the heavy impact almost hurting him - but right now he couldn't care less about the pain.

When they can't breathe anymore, they part - their eyes are wide open, mouths agape and swollen, hands trembling in impatience. Baekhyun cups the man's face with his pale fingers, holding him so close that their foreheads almost touch. He can't let him slip away again.

"Please, let me feel," he croaks, his eyes becoming watery. He's so, so desperate. "Let me feel you, Chanyeol, I need to convince myself that you're real."

Chanyeol kisses him once, in an emphatic response. "Don't cry anymore, don't cry, Baekhyun."

This time their lips slow down a bit, but the tension between them only stiffens. In a matter of seconds, Chanyeol's jacket lands on the floor, accompanied by Baekhyun's blue one - Baekhyun is lifted up by a pair of strong hands clamped around his thighs in a vice grip and immediately pinned to the wall with much more force than before, for balance. He lets the taller leave countless kisses along his jaw and neck, leaning his head against the wall for better access while squeezing his eyes tightly shut - he tries hard to comply, to not sob loudly at the feeling of being held again by the man he would definitely die for.

They grind against each other while grappling with the buttons of their dress shirts. Chanyeol gets visibly impatient - he quickly decides to rip off the stubborn material of both garments, earning a surprised moan from Baekhyun when the small buttons spatter noisily on the wooden flooring around them. 

Freshly gained access to the naked skin is eagerly used; Chanyeol covers the boy's entire chest with open-mouthed kisses, sharp bites and reddish hickeys, at the same time reveling in the feeling of short nails digging into his bare shoulders with every jerk of their hips.

Baekhyun sinks down on the floor again only to reach for the zipper in Chanyeol's trousers - he can already feel the bulge getting hard under his fingertips. The hand on his wrist and the other on his ass stop him effectively.

"Let's at least make it to the bedroom," Chanyeol whispers into his ear, his breath hot and heavy on the boy's blushed skin. He lets himself be dragged to the said room with a short 'hurry' on the lips.

They share sloppy kisses all the way through the living room, while entering the bedroom, and as they reach the bed they used to share. Baekhyun is pushed on the mattress, the taller almost immediately kneeling between his parted legs to resume their liplock. 

The blonde moans loudly into the kiss, harshly tugging at Chanyeol's dark curls as the man grabs his cock through the trousers' fabric.

"Have you shared this bed with anyone else?" Chanyeol's hot breath surrounds one of the boy's erect nipples while he swiftly gets rid of his dress trousers and tight briefs as well.  
Baekhyun's body jerks involuntarily as he feels his tongue lapping at the over-sensitive nipple. His mind becomes more clouded with every second that passes.

"Fuck, n-no," he spits out distractedly, too focused on Chanyeol's hands roaming his lower body to fully acknowledge the question. He's already lying naked under him, and the thought itself makes his heart go crazy.

His cock twitches with excitement when he earns a low, content hum as an answer.

Chanyeol doesn't mess around for too long; he bends the boy's legs and leans in between them almost at once. The sight alone causes Baekhyun's head to spin, but when he feels the hot tongue around his hole he becomes completely dizzy. 

The man still knows what to do and uses that to his advantage - he sucks on the rim and kisses it softly, only to slide his tongue inside a moment later, fucking the tight walls expertly with quick movements, leaving Baekhyun completely breathless and pliant. The boy clenches automatically around it, having fingers tangled in Chanyeol's long curls and he unconsciously pulls his head in closer to his ass.

Totally winded, he grinds against Chanyeol's face, almost fucking himself on his tongue. But it's not enough. Not now at least.

"C-Chanyeol," he pants between sharp breaths and shallow moans. "F-Fuck me already, please, Yeol-Ah..."

The man lifts his head up, having left a single kiss onto his entrance. Baekhyun immediately wraps his arms around his neck, pulling him closer again. He can taste himself on Chanyeol's wet lips. It's sinful.

"It's gonna hurt, Baek, you know this," he murmurs lowly, his nose brushing around the boy's heated cheek. "I didn't even prep you well-"

"Fuck, I don't care," he gasps brokenly, feeling Chanyeol's fingers wrapping around his own, already leaking cock. "I need to feel you now. P-please, I can't wait anymore."

Chanyeol swiftly conquers a battle with his own pants. "Lube?"

"Drawer. Hurry."

After quickly locating an almost full bottle, the man uses a generous amount to make sure he's as well lubricated as possible. Baekhyun's cheeks are sheepishly red - he would always react with such excitement to the sight of Chanyeol's cock, like the inexperienced minor he used to be.

Chanyeol slowly thrusts inside and the boy lets out a loud cry.

"I fucking told you," the taller chastises with exasperation. "A stubborn kid. Don't move, Baek."

Baekhyun tries to control his shallow, almost hysterical breath, squeezing his wet eyelids tightly shut. His tensed body wants to jerk upwards, but Chanyeol's steely grip on his hips effectively prevents him from moving. He attempts to breathe steadily, but violent cries that rip from his chest make it almost impossible.

But Chanyeol is there.

"Baby, shh, relax," he hears a low, soothing voice in his ear. He opens his eyes for a second, only to see his man's soft, patient expression. "Focus on me. I'm with you."

He moves one of his hands to caress Baekhyun's ruffled hair while peppering his face with countless kisses. He carefully delves into him, inch by inch; every movement of his hips he makes up with soft praises and tender touches.

Once he's fully inside, Baekhyun can finally take a shaky breath. The overwhelming heaviness inside of him makes him dizzy.

"Are you alright, Baekhyunah?" asks Chanyeol, brushing a few strands of hair away from his forehead. 

Baekhyun nods subtly, his eyes teary and voice strained. "Kiss me, please."

He does, of course. They make out lazily, their tongues tangling deliberately and wet lips brushing every now and then. Baekhyun takes his time - the painful stretching feeling inside of him begins to hurt less and less, the heat it brought, coiling ablaze in his abdomen, subsiding. 

Distracted enough by all the caresses, Baekhyun manages to relax and ultimately begins to move his hips in search for any friction. Chanyeol immediately takes the hint - he thrusts, starting slowly and tentatively, so that he can quicken his pace soon afterwards.

The soft lovemaking quickly turns into a desperate attempt to be as close as possible, to devour each other's bodies, scents and touches; to sex full of anger, unspoken words and regret, but also the strong feelings and emotions that have been bottled up for so long. 

They share every breath, every kiss, every hip thrust with such passion and eagerness - exactly like they used to in the past. Everything's safe and familiar, but at the same time so fresh and exciting. Furious. Fervent.

Chanyeol keeps hitting Baekhyun's prostate over and over again, making him lose his mind, cry his name eftsoons. Their moans mix between the sloppy kisses - the insensible promises and confessions float around them in the thick air. The whole bed moves slightly under the force of Chanyeol's thrusts - Baekhyun holds onto him tightly, his arms and legs wrapped around the heavy body above him.

The boy finds his sweaty hand and intertwines their fingers a few seconds before reaching an intense climax. His whole body trembles violently in the man's hold as he cums all over their chests, high-pitched moans and shaky pants escaping his mouth while he rides his orgasm to the very end. 

Chanyeol, however, doesn't stop his thrusts even for a second, so when the boy regains his consciousness he's about to cry, being constantly overstimulated. Shortly thereafter, Chanyeol reaches his own orgasm and the feeling of his hot cum filling him to the brim causes Baekhyun to come again.

It takes one more round for them to lay down beside each other, totally exhausted. Their bodies don't touch; only their fingers are loosely laced together on top of the sheets, Chanyeol's thumb softly rubs the upper surface of Baekhyun's hand in a comforting manner. This time, the silence surrounding them feels cosy - even if they definitely need to talk, none of them rushes to speak out.

Baekhyun listens to their breaths slowly regularising at their own paces - he can't help a small smile blooming on his lips as he fixates on the ceiling.

However, he's the first one to talk.

"I'm sorry."

The blonde instantly senses Chanyeol's gaze on him. He decides to return it after a few moments.

"I'm sorry I let you go."

Chanyeol's mouth forms a soft smile, even if his eyes remain serious.

"I'm sorry I left."

"But I knew you would have." He mumbles, biting his lower lip. "I knew you. If I could've only swallowed my pride that one time."

The man reaches to tuck a strand of hair behind Baekhyun's ear.

"I guess you're fucking unforgettable, Baekhyunah." He smiles wider, propping himself up on his elbow to address the boy directly. His eyes shine with bashful honesty. "You were able to wake my heart up again with just one look."

"I've missed you so much," Baekhyun whispers instead. "You have no idea. I almost lost my mind without you."

Chanyeol fondly touches his rosy cheek with cautious fingers. He observes the boy's face for a while, until his eyes fall upon something behind his head. He slowly furrows his brows, reaching for the night stand to carefully take something small between his fingers.

Baekhyun bites his lip when he realises.

"You kept it, Baekhyunah?" Chanyeol views the engagement ring with a mellow expression.

The latter can't help his cheeks turning red. "I've never really taken it off, actually." He admits softly. "Only today. You know... I thought it would be inappropriate to wear it to your wedding."

"Do you still want it now?"

He prims. "Of course I do."

The man takes Baekhyun's hand in his own to slowly slip the ring onto his slender finger. Right where it belongs.

Baekhyun smiles, his ardent eyes filled with hope and some sparkling tears left unshed. "So what now?"

"I don't know yet," Chanyeol replies simply. Instead, he hovers over the smaller silhouette again. Their lips almost touch when he leans in, observing the boy intently. Characteristic, carefree gleams in his eyes flash through a gaze full of serious determination.

"We'll figure it out tomorrow." having murmured into Baekhyun's mouth, he leaves there a single kiss. A single promise. "We have all the time in the world to do so, don't we?"

×××

Usually, the loud doorbell sound reverberating through the whole flat would make Baekhyun jolt in fear and sudden surprise. This time, however, lulled into a deep sleep by exhaustion and the bigger body's surrounding warmth, he doesn't even flinch under the sheets, only murmuring something incoherent about 'shutting up for fuck's sake'.

It turns out that ignoring the doorbell doesn't work at all - not only does it not stop, moreover, the sound seems to get louder and longer by the second, so eventually, Chanyeol concedes.

"Who the hell visits you on an early Sunday morning?" the man hauls himself up from underneath the duvet with obvious resentment. It takes a while for him to find his underwear somewhere on the bedroom floor and then quickly search for any oversized hoodie in the wardrobe, so as not to scare the unexpected guest by presenting himself in all his naked glory.

In the meantime, Baekhyun doesn't even open his eyes, his face still buried in a pillow permeated with the strong scent of Chanyeol's sweated skin and his strong, mint shampoo. This all, mixed with intense smell of the flower fabric softener Baekhyun tends to use in excess on his sheets and the aroma of sex still lingering in the warm air, makes him acutely drowsy. He doesn't want to wake up just yet from the best sleep he's had for months and be forced to face the reality, along with the consequences of their careless actions from the day before.

But the blissfulness wasn't meant to last long, he realises after a while, when suddenly a loud, definitely scandalized voice interrupts the calm silence of the flat, effectively sobering him up in a few seconds.

"What the fuck, Park Chanyeol?!"

Jongdae's voice. Holy shit.

Baekhyun springs out of the bed at the speed of light, abruptly scrambling for anything to cover his body with. He almost falls over his own pants laying on the carpet in clumsy attempts to bring himself around, but that doesn't stop him from storming out of the room in his bathrobe, the only thing he was able to catch in a hurry.

The sight of his confused friend standing at the front door, arms crossing over his chest the moment he sees Baekhyun, works like a bucket of cold water.  
Jongdae's brows are tightly knit, so much so that slight indentations of wrinkles are visible on the skin of his forehead.

"I see you have a lot to explain."

×××

"So, Chanyeol, you basically decided to become a runaway bride at your own fucking wedding."

Jongdae sits comfortably by the kitchen table, his elbow propped up on the surface while he mindlessly circles the cork of the wine he came with, using the tip of his index finger. Right now, he probably looks more amused than upset or even worried, even if he was ready to seriously beat Chanyeol when the latter opened the door for him. Nothing Chanyeol wouldn't understand, anyway.

Said man stays leaned against one of the cupboards, silently sipping hot, black coffee from his favourite mug (another thing Baekhyun hadn't found the nerve to get rid of). He doesn't say much, mostly listening to Baekhyun's careful account with something akin to a lazy smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. 

He looks over with a slight tilt of his head and meets Baekhyun's wandering gaze; it's unsure - as if the boy is searching for approval, and maybe wants to make sure that he isn't going anywhere.

Chanyeol finds it endearing, somehow.

"And you both came here just to have a screw like two frustrated rabbits." Jongdae wrinkles his nose in slight disgust, shaking his head right after. "I should've expected it from both of you."

Baekhyun almost jumps out of pure, undiluted embarrassment in his seat across from Jongdae. "I didn't say that!"

He earns two suggestive looks directed right at him in return.

"You didn't have to. I'm not blind enough not to see your clothes along the corridor," Jongdae continues impassively, crossing his legs. However, an instant later, he furrows his brows truculently, his finger pointed at the blonde. "Especially yours, Baekhyun! I didn't spend hours preparing this suit for you just to find it trampled on the floor."

Even despite the familiar faces around him and the fact that he and Chanyeol used to do things way worse than this, he still feels like dying, hiding his face with his hands. Possibly the situation makes it simply worse. 

"It wasn't... on purpose." He mumbles between the fingers, trying to ignore the knowing smirk on Jongdae's face.

"Sure it wasn't," he clicks his tongue, glancing at Chanyeol, who slowly finishes his coffee. Jongdae sighs dramatically as his eyes again land on the cheap sweet wine he brought with him. "You know, I came here to help you drown your heartbreak in another wave of alcohol, but I guess Chanyeol's dick works way more effectively than I ever could."

Baekhyun hides his whole head between his arms that are crossed on the table. "Oh my God, can you please stop making these ugly sex jokes?"

The laugh from both men is the only response he gets. "You're having far too much fun in this seriously-fucked-up situation." He points out, tone grumpy, almost pouting involuntarily.

"I'm trying my best," Jongdae replies, only to shake his head again, disbelief evident in his content smile as he settles down in his chair. "Lord, Solar's gonna kill you both."

"If my father won't do it first."

Chanyeol's comment is light, half-joking, and he himself doesn't look very frightened by the prospect. The silence that follows, however, lasts longer than expected, leaving them all bitterly sighing in the empty air.

Jongdae is the first one to lighten up the atmosphere again. "What are you going to do now?" The question is serious, but his smile remains slightly playful. "Second wedding with a changed groom? Silent vows and great escape?"

Baekhyun smiles gently as well. "We haven't... Talked about it yet?" He murmurs, unsurely fiddling with his own fingers intertwined atop the wooden surface. "But, um, I guess we need some time anyway. To take things slow."

Chanyeol nods slowly. "I have to meet my family and Rosé..." he chuckles humorlessly, running his fingers downwards through his curls. "I owe them an explanation for this whole mess, after all."

"And then?"

It's probably the hardest question, and none of them can be sure about the answer. Maybe it's still too early to try to come up with one.

That's why Baekhyun looks expectantly at the man by the kitchen counter.

"I think we need to skip town, at least for a while."

It sounds reasonable, though.

Noon comes quickly between the lighter talks and some sweet red wine (because once bought, it cannot be wasted). Jongdae refuses to stay for lunch, arguing that they need way more time alone than with any company at the moment. That's probably true, but Baekhyun doesn't want to let him go so quickly - after all, he's perfectly aware that after the wedding episode they won't be seeing each other so often again. And it turns out that he's been missing his friend way more than he'd previously thought.

"Come on, I'm not dying, I'm just avoiding another awkward hour between you two." Dae laughs loudly at Baekhyun's pouty expression as he gets up from his chair. The boy mimics his movements and they both head to the corridor. Jongdae can't control his incredulous expression when he accidentally steps on one of the broken shirt buttons.

"You know... I'm honestly surprised you aren't... Mad at me for this whole mess."

Baekhyun speaks up in a hushed voice, observing how Jongdae slowly puts on his shoes. The latter straightens after a few moments to look at him; his eyes, as usual, have these mischievous sparks that slightly lighten the sincerity of his gaze.

"Wasn't I the one who wanted to make him horny just with your looks?" He jokes, jabbing him in the ribs slightly. "I guess I succeeded."

Baekhyun smiles at Jongdae, whose expression slowly changes to this soft seriousness - bright, honey eyes framed by slightly furrowed brows, a gentle smile on his lips. He reaches for Baekhyun's forearm to give it a comforting squeeze.

"No, listen, babe. I have no right to be mad at you, because it's your life and your decision. I couldn't make you not go to the wedding just as I can't make you give up on him now that you've finally got a chance to fix it all, right?" Baekhyun bites his lip, returning his friend's lenient gaze with his own tentative one.

"I have absolutely no idea what you two are going to do right now," he chuckles, his expression softening even more. "But seeing you for the past few months... I'm just hoping it will be good for both of you. That it will work out."

Baekhyun can't help his eyes getting watery when Jongdae gathers him into a hug. He wishes for it too, so badly.

"Thank you, Dae."

"No need to." The blonde pats his shoulder lightly, slowly stepping back to face him one more time. "Just do your best to be happy again, alright? And keep me updated!"

"Yeah, of course."

Jongdae leaves a single, goodbye peck on Baekhyun's temple, and then walks out with a little wink and a 'take care, Chanyeol' shouted towards the kitchen.

The boy closes the door behind his friend with a little sigh. The whole situation still seems quite surreal and a whole new level of weird to cope with, even after such a fortunate morning. 

The night was amazing, full of emotions and love that he missed like crazy, but it could be compared to a careless one-night stand - now they're left to talk, to work on this, well, mess, and to try to do so as painlessly as possible.

Baekhyun sighs again, lumbering into the kitchen. His head is heavy with thoughts and doubts – whose wouldn't be, after all? At this point, he's not even sure how he should act around Chanyeol; like a friend, an ex, or maybe simply like a lover?

Yeah, the only thing he's totally sure about is the strength of his undying feelings towards the man.

\- Chanyeol, yes. He bustles around the kitchen, probably already decided on the lunch he's going to prepare. Baekhyun leans against the doorway, hands buried in the fluffy pockets of his bathrobe, free to observe the man in silence. His brown locks fall in every direction, framing his head like a golden halo by dint of the sunlight. He brushes it away from time to time, having previously wiped his fingers with a cloth left on the counter. His tall, well-built silhouette seems to belong in the little kitchen almost perfectly.

Baekhyun is enamoured.

"Hopefully you won't mind some pasta for lunch."

Baekhyun flinches slightly at the sound of his low voice reverberating off the walls. He should have known that his staring was obvious.

The man spins on his heel to face him with a small smile. He hums softly. "What's up, kid?"

/Kid/; typical Chanyeol.

A light shrug. "Nothing."

"I don't want to see you worried all the time, Baekhyunah."

He turns around to lower the gas under the noodles. Baekhyun decides to step further into the kitchen, to approach him slowly.

He exhales. "Yeol..." a pause. "Can I kiss you?"

The man looks at him with an inscrutable gaze and furrowed brows, and within a few seconds, the distance between them almost disappears - Baekhyun would hide himself against his broad chest in one small movement.

"Weren't you the one talking about taking things slow?" Chanyeol says quietly, a flicker of mischievousness audible in his voice. Baekhyun feels like an impatient kid under the parental gaze.

"Yeah, right," he mutters, eyeline faltering, dropping to the floor dejectedly. "I'm sorry, I just... I don't know how to-"'

"Kiss me, Baekhyunah."

The boy looks up again, his eyes unsure, but still sparkling prettily. He knows all too well that the distance would probably be the most logical option for them in this scenario, but obviously he's too weak to keep his hands to himself when Chanyeol stands in front of him, being real, not just a part of his beautiful dream. He's been waiting for so long to feel this again, it's almost impossible to resist the need to be as close as he can be to him.

So their lips meet unhurriedly. This time, there's finally no need to rush - they share a few soft, chaste pecks, before Baekhyun opens his mouth to slowly deepen the caress, his tentative hands placed on Chanyeol's chest. Their tongues glide together lazily in the rhythm of their steady breaths; Chanyeol's in charge, but he uses this carefully, as if he's trying to soothe Baekhyun's nerves and worries, as if every one of his movements are a tiny promise, soft assurance.

Chanyeol was never the type to be a good talker, always tried his best to express his feelings and intentions with actions instead, even the smallest ones. And maybe Baekhyun wasn't attentive enough to notice them all, so hellbent on waiting for his words that he was blind to the pure adoration in Chanyeol's every touch, every look, every breath.  
Now he's going to treasure everything.

He smiles when their eyes meet again. "God, my sister's really going to kill us."

Chanyeol laughs, kissing his forehead.

×××

“I can't put up with this anymore.”

Baekhyun sighs into the phone stuck between his right cheek and shoulder, slumping heavily down onto the floor of his company's archival room — not even minding dirtying his dress pants with the abundance of dirt covering the tiles.

He hears some movement at the other end of the line.

“Talk, kid. I'm lodged in terrible traffic.”

“On the phone, mister Park?”

Chanyeol clicks his tongue, low sound of the radio playing some ballads in the background making his voice even smoother, calmer, deeper. “Hands-free, no worries.”

Baekhyun hums in understanding. He closes the binder he has in his hands and puts it on the shelf to be able to grip the phone more comfortably.

“This day has been so shitty, you know,” he murmurs. “Minseok left earlier because his daughter is sick, so I needed to deal with some asshole who complained about our guide on the school trip. He wants a refund and now I'm drowning in fucking documents.” His gaze involuntarily flickers to the file laying beside him on the floor as he sighs tiredly. “As if that wasn't bad enough...” 

Baekhyun's voice becomes smaller, in case anyone's behind the door at the moment. Surely there's no one, but voicing his bitter insecurities seems tougher than he'd expect. “I hear my coworkers talking about the wedding. Rumours are spreading too fast for my liking.”

“It's not their business, is it?”

Chanyeol, on the other hand, sounds unwinded. His mild baritone should calm Baekhyun's nerves a bit, but this time it doesn't. Maybe it's a result of the rain that had been battering mercilessly against the window panes since the early morning (heaven must have a really bad sense of compassion), maybe a sudden pressure drop that causes his head to throb in constant pain, or maybe he just loathes the feeling of being abashedly sized up all the time at his table.

“Easy to say, Chanyeol,” his voice comes out sounding way more exasperated and bitterly cynical than he intended. “Of course it's hot news that Byun has ruined his ex's and their friend's wedding.”

Baekhyun flinches at the sudden blow of car horn in the phone. A delicious addition to his headache.

“We both know you didn't,” Chanyeol replies after a short while. “It was more of my own fault, after all.”

“We do know, and do they?” He snaps with annoyance, rubbing his left temple in a nervous manner. “I feel judged constantly, Chanyeol. No wonder, I must look like a fucking homewrecker.” 

Baekhyun goes silent for a few seconds after a short, wry chuckle. When he speaks up again, it's way more vulnerable. Like an admission to a shameful weakness. “You know it bothers me a lot.”

“Quit, then.”

This time, Baekhyun does laugh silently, in a faint disbelief. “A genius,” he shakes his head, changing the hand holding the phone and pressing it to his other ear. “You know I can't.”

“Yes, you can." The man on the other side sounds confident, as if he's stating the obvious. “We're leaving soon anyway. You'll find something new after we come back to Seoul.”

Baekhyun winces unsurely, tapping on the file beside his knee in a steady rhythm.

“Maybe so,” he mumbles vaguely, and then decides to smoothly change the topic. Well, it was actually the reason he called Chanyeol in the first place. “How was the meeting?”

He swears he could almost hear the man smiling lopsidedly.

“Mom didn't seem very surprised at the turn of events. Nor very upset, too. Maybe just disappointed in her son for being the heartbreaker of an innocent girl.”

“I guess she knew what was coming the moment she saw us together.” Baekhyun bites his bottom lip to prevent himself from smiling stupidly. He can't say no to a little teasing resting on the tip of his tongue. “She's been the kindest with me, really. I'd say I missed her more than you.”

He hears Chanyeol sighing heavily and this time, a sincere chuckle leaves his mouth.

“You'd be better off not being so bold, kid,” they're seemingly serious words, but Baekhyun knows better than that. He pictures Chanyeol's lips curved into a small smile, the fingers of his right hand carelessly wrapped around the steering wheel, while his left elbow stays propped up on the car door.

“Whatever, big man,” Baekhyun brushes him off mischievously. “What else?”

“Shouldn't you be going back to work already?”

Baekhyun briefly peeks at the watch on his wrist, suddenly realising the position and place he's still in. He excuses himself for a moment to get up from the cold floor with the desired file between his fingers and straighten out.

“It's my break time anyway," he explains, locking the door with a small key after he's left the room. “Go on.”

Honestly, he has no idea where to go now, when the weather is awful, as he's used to spending his breaks outdoor, so he decides to simply lean back against the aforementioned door.

“Father was angry, but probably mostly with the money we wasted. I don't think he'd been very attached to Rosé as a person.” Chanyeol speaks deliberately, the sound of wipers working at an almost frantic pace being the only thing that blurs his words out from time to time. “All the same, he acknowledged our decision rather calmly. I promised him to clean up all the mess, and of course attend to the expenses of the aborted ceremony.” Baekhyun almost sees him rolling his eyes, more quizzically than peevishly. “I'm not blaming him, though.”

The boy clears his throat and runs his fingers through his far-too-long fringe before asking a question, unsure, with a palpably quieter voice.

“Have you met with Rosé already?”

Chanyeol hums at once. “Yes, I'm on the way home.”

There's a short silence and Baekhyun asks again. Tentatively. “Is that all?”

He doesn't want to pressure Chanyeol. He doesn't want to annoy him with careless curiosity, to cross the unspoken line between them both. It's a sensitive topic and a fresh wound — and practically not even Baekhyun's business. Or maybe it is?

That's not the point, though. Baekhyun doesn't want details. He desires to know Chanyeol's feelings only, to soothe his nerves and comfort the overwhelming thoughts he's sure exist now in the man's mind. To let him know that he's not alone — essentially, they both created this mess. And they both should feel responsible to fix it.

“She was surprisingly collected,” Baekhyun exhales with relief at the sound of his voice; it seems like he crafts his every word. “Wished us luck. We didn’t talk for long, but she was understanding. Too much even. It feels awful.”

The last words come out as all but spat. Baekhyun feels the urgent need to hold his hand, to kiss his temple. Chanyeol is ashamed of being vulnerable, he knows it very well.

“I'm proud of you for going there, Chanyeol,” he decides to say after a few seconds, voice soft and comforting. He thinks briefly before speaking again, very cautiously. “I'm sure she'll find happiness very soon. She's a good person.” He hears the man exhaling. “And you are too, Yeolah.”

Baekhyun can swear he feels a few tears gathering under his eyelids, but he doesn't let them out, instead only smiling mildly at the ceiling above his head.

Suddenly a small movement of the phone on the other side is audible; after some rustle, Chanyeol's low, warm voice fills Baekhyun's ears from the short distance of the phone.

“We'll meet soon, Baekhyunah,” he tells him, and it sounds almost like a promise. “Stick it out. For me.”

Baekhyun smiles even wider. “Yeah. Drive safely.”

‘I love you’ stays unspoken in his mouth when Chanyeol ends the call.

×××

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yn4OC5uFeo8  
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7PDUO3l8xiM

Everyday I know that this might hurt but I don't care  
This is heaven, yeah

The sun sets languidly, overseeing the land in bashfully weakening rays of warm yellow and orange. It seems to follow the car flitting through the empty road, smelling of the recent rain and with pine trees growing freely almost everywhere. It feels like a race between them, except that the occupants of the vehicle don't hurry. They escape, but without making any real haste to do so, and that particular escape paradoxically allows them to breathe that relief of freedom, finally.

The soft music emitted from the speakers inside the car provokes shy hums from Baekhyun, who sits in the passenger’s seat with his cheek almost glued to the window, too focused on the protean landscape to even acknowledge his fingers being carelessly intertwined with Chanyeol's. It feels so natural, his hand enveloped in familiar warmth like it belongs there; so natural that even some small movements of their hands from time to time doesn't rouse him from his thoughts.

Chanyeol's occasional, tender glances also remain unnoticed by the boy, as he watches in awe how the sun disappears behind the massive trees across the road, mindlessly wrapping a few strands of the freshly-dyed, black hair around his finger. He seems to have already forgotten that they both got tipsy whilst packing, so when Chanyeol found a not-so-old sachet of black hair dye, Baekhyun's decision was instantaneous. “Here's to new beginnings,” he'd said then, all giggly and confident, and Chanyeol couldn't help but laugh, too, helping him to dab the dye on his wet hair.

Right now, however, they just sit in silence, only the playlist they created together a few years ago playing softly in the background, put on a replay mode. The whole thing feels thrilling, but in such an unusual way; the excitement buzzing in Baekhyun's stomach seems to be calming his whole body. Something akin to a dangerous venture through the ocean in the middle of a raging storm, but in the safest, strongest ship possible. In this case, in Chanyeol's steady hold.

“What are you thinking about?”

Baekhyun shrugs softly. “Nothing. Everything.”

The worries and hopes are jumbled echoes in his head when he looks at Chanyeol, at his stoic face graced with that calm, handsome smile that makes his heart flutter straightaway. He thinks about every little thing that led them to this very moment — from their quarrel that winter night, bitter words that should have never been said out loud, the burst of their pride and jealousy that prevented them from coming back to each other. 

Through the months of painful silence, weakly upheld facades and desperate attempts to make it all more bearable. Through the receiving of that damn invitation, all the mental battles and insecurities he fought simply to make an appearance at the wedding itself. And eventually — the look he saw on Chanyeol's face when they met for the first time in months. The desperation he saw in his eyes when the marriage vow had been broken. The fire he felt under his skin while they were making love all through the night, far from the world and void of any common sense.

Baekhyun thinks about how reckless they are leaving it all behind them just to focus on their feelings, on each other. He would have never expected himself to be able to drop his daily life, his work, his duties, his home, to run away with the man who once had stolen his heart and never gave it back. 

He wouldn't have expected himself to be sitting in this car, filled with only a few of their possessions, old photos and their favourite records, driving towards the wild, reclusive coast for god knows how long. Baekhyun couldn't forget his sister's face when he’d told her about their rash plans, about the unused holiday house they had hired from their uncle — the mix of disbelief and anxiety towards her brother, whose heartbreak she had experienced for too long and far too intensely to approve the bold move with such ease.  
She’d let them go, though. Because maybe letting time work on its own would turn out to be the best decision they've ever made. Maybe giving themselves some space to be able to love each other properly will pay off, mend their souls and bolster their feelings.

Baekhyun squints when some fractious sun rays hit his face from between the curling pine branches. Chanyeol's thumb draws slow circles onto the back of his hand.

“Aren't you sleepy, Baekhyunah?”

Baekhyun smiles lazily. The mention of sleeping makes him yawn.

“You still haven't told me where we‘re going, so I couldn't sleep anyway.”

Chanyeol promised earlier to take Baekhyun to a special place before they arrive at their temporary house. The latter, of course, couldn't contain his curiosity for the entire journey, asking lots of questions about the mystery destination. To no avail, obviously.

“Patience, kid.” Chanyeol runs his fingers in a downward motion through the light curls that fall in front of his eyes. He licks his lips with a small, playful smile.

The boy huffs in response, pinching the hand that holds his own. “Why won't you just tell me?”

Chanyeol's mild laugh reverberates off the walls of the car, along with Chris Martin's voice. “Curiosity killed the cat. And I told you it was a surprise, didn't I?” He murmurs in that low, silken tone. “And besides, we're almost there.”

Baekhyun visibly warms with anticipation at this, looking around carefully to try and recognise their current surroundings. He even opens the window and only when Chanyeol scolds him for letting the cold air inside the warm car, a familiar sound fills his ears.

His mouth involuntarily forms an 'o' shape in sudden astonishment — and when he turns around to look at the man beside him, he’s met with the sweet smile already blooming on his face.

Hardly a moment goes by as the trees start to thin out, so as to unveil the level surface of the seashore; fenced by an old stone wall that had been eroded by the strong wind and high waves— an endless sandy beach surrounded by nature, suffused with dim sunlight and the ocean. Unwontedly peaceful at this time of year.

“Surprise?” Chanyeol smiles almost sheepishly. Baekhyun raises his bright, sparkling eyes to look at the man.

Because it's not just a random beach. They've arrived at the exact coast where their official first date took place. Where they raced against the cold, foamy surfs, observed the sun disappearing below the horizon and kissed breathlessly, not minding the wind tousling their hair and wet clothes clinging to their warm skin, too occupied with desire and slowly increasing fascination.

But most importantly, it’s also the exact location at which Chanyeol kneeled in front of Baekhyun, asking for his hand in marriage that one July evening.

“Hey, it's alright, baby,” Chanyeol chuckles softly, squeezing his hand in a comforting manner as he smoothly manoeuvres the car to park it near the stone wall. “You look like you're about to cry.”

“I'm not,” Baekhyun argues almost instantly, his eyes glued to the windscreen, eyeing the seashore; it looks just like a magnificent oil painting. A slight smile unconsciously tugs at his lips as the memories flood his mind like a spumescent waterfall. “I'm just... A bit moved, I guess. I didn’t expect this, in all honesty.”

Chanyeol leaves the car only to open the door for him and help him to get out. The cold breeze hits Baekhyun's flushed face almost painfully, and he needs to narrow his eyes, watery from the sudden cold. 

They slowly make their way down the small, stony stairs, and when their feet touch the damp sand, Baekhyun feels almost overwhelmed with the amount of memories this place has awakened inside his head.   
There, everything started for them. 

The sun is almost invisible behind the interminable water surface. It’s left the sky soft shades of pink and purple, reflecting in the drowsy ocean like a clear mirror. Everything is calm and quiet, only the sound of the waves timidly rolling against the coast can be heard around them. 

Chanyeol approaches the strand in a few, light strides and then squats to –supposedly—find something in the sand. Baekhyun observes him in silence, his head tilted to the side while he bites his bottom lip in soft curiosity. The man seems to take his time, in the midst of the frosty wind, the water teasingly licking the tips of his shoes. 

When he straightens up again, he clutches something in his fist. Having come closer, he reaches for Baekhyun's hand to put the item inside it. 

Baekhyun opens his palm with furrowed brows. He finds there three colourful pebbles, still slightly wet and shiny from the water. He can't control his own, genuine laughter. 

“Remember how you told me that otters collect pretty stones and give them to their lovers to express their feelings?” Chanyeol says with a wide smile, his eyes forming two crescents behind the fractious, windblown curls on his forehead. 

The boy covers his mouth with his free hand to muffle another, sweetened chuckle. “The second part was a bit of a lie,” he admits softly. “I mean, they probably gift their favourite stones, too, why wouldn't they, but—”

He doesn't finish the sentence as Chanyeol's lips catch his own in a chaste kiss. 

Now, he looks almost bashful. “Back then, I just wanted to give you a pretty pebble to keep.” 

Chanyeol lifts his brows in amusement. “Only one? I had my trouser pockets stuffed with wet rocks because of you.” 

Baekhyun laughs prettily. He almost can't believe how ethereal the man looks, standing there in the chilly air, the soft halo of unkempt hair on his head, while he smiles down at him. And the smile finally reaches his eyes, too. 

The stones in his palm feel cold, but his cheeks are burning when Chanyeol's fingers tenderly brush the stray strands of hair from his forehead. 

“Now it's your turn to keep my treasure in your pockets, Baekhyunah.” 

His soft laugh is his sole answer to the light words, as he clumsily squeezes the pebbles into his jacket's pocket. 

“It sounds promising, though,” he teases. “Another proposal, but with a rock.”

Chanyeol rolls his eyes. “Let's call it this way.” And then his face sobers a little bit as he takes Baekhyun's hands in his own, again. They aren't as warm as before but right now, it doesn't matter. 

“I brought you here because this is the place where the most important things happened to us. Our new beginning... I thought we needed to start from here as well.”

Baekhyun nods slowly, his attentive gaze never leaving Chanyeol's. “Thank you, Yeolah.”

The taller leans in a bit so that their foreheads can touch in the most intimate way. Eye to eye, skin to skin, their hot breaths mix into one cloud of steam around their heads.   
“Thank you for coming back into my life, Baekhyunah.” His whisper floats in the air, only to drown in the cold ocean waves right after. “Thank you for preventing me from making that big mistake.” 

“Are we gonna be alright now, Chanyeolah?” 

“Yes, yes of course.” 

This time, there's no hesitation in his answer. 

Baekhyun bites his lower lip, unconsciously clutching the man’s jacket in his trembling fingers. It's getting colder, and the ocean seems to be slowly rousing from its slumber as the waves surge in the wind. 

It feels like the whole world is watching them, but they pay no attention. 

“And what if this love is pain?“ A soft whisper leaves Baekhyun's mouth. 

Chanyeol smiles tenderly. “Let's hurt then, honey. Let's love.”


End file.
